ScottLog

February 1, 2008

dreaming

Filed under: Uncategorized — numist @ 10:26 am

I’m a bit of a dreamer.

for at least the last decade, I’ve constantly been dreaming about what my life would be like 2 – 5 years in the future, it always looks so much better than where I am at the time. I’ve had dreams like seeing success in the field, nurturing a successful long-term relationship (especially living with my partner), getting out of school (one way or another), getting the right car, I’ve always been living in the future.

I can’t help but think I could have done even better if I hadn’t spent so much time dreaming. sure, it’s important to have dreams, but living in them every day to the point of being distracted from the tasks at hand has always been an issue for me. I frequently fall behind the expectations of my superiors (school, where I also have the severe handicap of also not being interested in most of my coursework), and my own expectations (everywhere else, all the damn time).

it’s not all bad though; my position in life is surprisingly close to where I dreamed it would be years ago, and in retrospect, everything could have gone a lot worse. I have reached a point in my career where, for the moment, I have no higher aspirations. Cindy and I lived together over the summer, and despite the amount of time and close proximity, there was never any friction. I’ve spent plenty of time out of school chasing my other dreams (and I can’t wait to be out for good), and every time I sit in my car and turn the key, I smile (every damn time).

but the future looks even better, I can’t wait for it, and I constantly find myself dreaming about it. being back in town for movie nights, Cindy graduated and living with me all the time, graduating (going for best case scenarios for now), passing the referee and installing a new manual steering rack (merk’s got one for me in WI). there’s so much to look forward to.

sometimes I have the presence of mind to stop for a few minutes and appreciate where I am, I hope I can continue to do so, while working in the right direction.

I think I can.

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